It's the epitome of 'All men have is the audacity'...
.png?ar=16%3A9&fit=crop&crop=top&auto=format&w=1440&q=80 "This Barely Famous Man Sent His Very Famous Ex-Girlfriend A Pro’s And Con’s List Of Dating Her And We Can’t Deal (1)")
You know those TikTok’s that showcase lacklustre men doing wildly narcissistic things to incredible women where the defining audio, caption or comment is ‘All men have is the audacity’? Yeah, we’ve found the peak example of that. This week, podcaster and entrepreneur Lana Rhoades exposed her ex-boyfriend (who is also a podcaster), Mike Majlak by posting part of pros and cons list she received from him that details all his reasons for and against dating her. Yes, really. Rhoades posted the notes-app essay on Twitter this week in a now-deleted post, with the caption ‘Part of my ex’s un-asked-for pros and cons list of dating me… I think I might frame it, it’s so funny.’ If you’re entirely unfamiliar with their relationship, allow me to explain. Lana Rhoades, whose real name is Amara Maple, was once an adult film actor who despite only shooting professional p*rn for a year from 2016-17, continues to be the highest rated female performer on p*rnhub.
She quit the industry because of a ‘collection of bad experiences’, which she emotionally details in her new podcast 3g1k. Since then, Rhoades become a multi-millionaire thanks to her successful social media accounts, businesses and brand collaborations. Her entry into the social media world is how she met Mike Majlak, one of the hosts on Logan Paul’s Impaulsive podcast. Rhoades and Majlak dated for a year, with her appearance on his social media channels a heavy contributor to his growth on platforms like YouTube and Instagram. Their fans loved them together, with Rhoades coming across as incredibly sweet, sincere and generous to Majlak. Majlak, on the other hand – who upon founding social media fame, released a biography of his life last year - was increasingly condemned for narcissistic behaviour, frequently dismissing and interrupting Rhoades as well as speaking over esteemed guests on Paul’s podcast and interrupted. Now, that narcissism has truly hit its peak in the form of said pros and cons letter. After the couple broke up officially last month, Rhoades had stayed relatively quiet online about any tension between her and Maljak. Until now. ‘Why I Date You’ the screenshot showed his list starting. Prepare yourselves, ladies, your eyes are going to need drops by the time you’ve finished reading this. He begins by detailing how pretty, loyal, hardworking and attentive she is. Then, the wildness begins. ‘I feel compelled to save you from how the word sees/has seen you in the past, surround you with a loving family/normal life,’ he writes, before adding that she’s also ‘good for my business/networking’ with a bracket next to that point reading ‘see caveat’. ‘WHAT IS THE CAVEAT?’ I hear you scream. Well, we don’t get that far as Rhoades didn’t post the entire list – but we can assume it’s something to do with the fact that now she’s gone, his YouTube views are down, which must be hurting his ego slightly.
But wait, the ‘Why I Don’t Date You’ list is even wilder. Firstly, there are two categories labelled ‘Major Dealbreakers That Require Deep And Radical Change’ and ‘Minor Issues That Some People Would Consider Dealbreakers, That Require Habitual Revision’. Yes, he used the caps on every word.
The categories alone are enough to make anyone want to throw their phone across the room at the sheer audacity, but wait until you hear the reasons themselves. For Majlak, dealbreakers include ‘sickly obsessed with social normalities’ – which, one can assume, is a reference to the fact Rhoades has publicly stated her desire to get married and have children while Majlak is unsure of that path. This was a big part of their break-up; it appears from his videos online.
Then there’s the fact she asks to spend time with him alone – as oppose to surrounded by all of their social media friends – and is ‘unwilling to get involved with activities you know I like’ including the gym and cycling ‘which I would have been more interested in doing together’. Yes, because what is a girlfriend if not someone who tags along to your hobbies just to provide you with entertainment despite hating every second of it? You could never just, hire a personal trainer or something, right?
Minor issues, according to Majlak, include ‘chewing with mouth fully open’ to ‘numerous other social faux pas’. Said social faux pas are not detailed, thank God. Maybe she, I don’t know, forgot to cover her mouth during a sneeze once? I’d break-up with a multi-millionaire model for that too, to be honest. P.s, this is him below on Instagram... chewing with his mouth open.
Honestly, the whole thing reads like a scene out of Love Island circa Amy Hart asking Curtis Pritchard for ‘feedback’ (archived memory unlocked). Except in this case, literally no one asked. And frankly, whoever would? We all make pros and cons lists from time to time, perhaps we make them about our partners over wine friends as we joke about all of the ‘icks’ we’re ignoring. But to write one out in all seriousness, not about a current partner but a person you’ve ALREADY BROKE UP WITH and then SEND IT to them??? There has never been a more audacious man in dating. Sorry Majlak, but if anyone is committing social faux pas’ here, it’s you. This is a woman who has been through so many traumatic experiences in her career, endures misogynistic abuse and shaming daily based on a job she quit years ago and yet continues to shine through as an incredibly positive, selfless and fun person to be around. She’s successful, beautiful and has incredible business acumen, yet Majlak – who not only publicly cheated on her but continuously used her to boost his YouTube views – thinks he’s entitled to detail her worthiness to date? Honestly, the only hope from this situation is that receiving this message is the nail in the coffin to that relationship. And hopefully, to all of us watching who might potentially date a man who would do something like this. It’s a hypothetical we can all use from now on to assess the narcissists from the normies – would you send a pros and cons list to dating your ex to them? In fact, copy and paste that, it’s your new Tinder opening line. Read More: How To Date In 2021, According To The Celebs Go Dating Experts YouTube Is Creating A World Where Vloggers Think It’s Okay To Post Dead Bodies Online 'I Started An OnlyFans In Lockdown And It's Not The Money Maker I Expected'
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